My childhood best friend, Lynn Adams, writes about her own true love story…
Do I believe in soul mates? Yes I do, wholeheartedly! Why? Because I believe I am one of the fortunate people on this earth that found and eventually married their soul mate. That’s not to say that you cannot love or be in love with only one person. On the contrary, we have a great capacity to love, deeply love, many people, partners, throughout our lives. But with your soul mate, there is a precious, special, almost electrifying connection that is beyond explanation and is difficult to define with words. IT is just THERE—that connection—that FEELING is always with you. Time does not exist with soul mates—if a person truly is your soul mate, the feeling is always with you. Which brings me to how I eventually married my soul mate. Thirty–plus years ago, we were high school sweethearts. I was a senior and he was a sophomore, and we worked at the same fast food restaurant— which is where we initially met. We probably weren't a very likely couple—I was quiet, in band, on the swim team and golf team, skipped class one time that I can recall (which I got busted for almost immediately), pretty much the typical “good girl” image, I guess you could say. And he was the opposite—not into sports, liked to work on anything with motor in it, hung out with a more “rowdy” crowd—pretty much the “bad boy” image. Well, like the old saying goes, “opposites do attract” and we ended up dating for several months … and we were each others’ “first love”! At our young ages, even though what we felt for each other was genuine and true, neither one of us was ready for a life-long commitment. We did “officially” break-up, but on a note of possibly getting back together some day when we both were older and better able to handle life.
We took different directions, with me getting a two-year head start on him, but we would still get a hold of each other now and again, see each other by chance sometimes, and the night he graduated from high school, he called me and asked if I wanted to go out to celebrate with him (absolutely, I did). So we hit several graduation parties and as always, whenever we did talk or see each other, it felt like we never broke up. He asked me to elope that night … and me, being the more mature (cough, cough) college girl (and designated driver) thought maybe it wasn’t the right time and that it really wasn’t the smartest way to end the evening. And once again … our paths took different directions. I went back to college and he moved out of state.
Shortly thereafter, I started dating the man that I ended up marrying—and I did love him, but deep down, my heart still belonged to my soul mate — I still thought of him often and always had the feeling that “some day” our paths would cross again. I even invited him to my wedding which he did attend. We had a “dance” together and as we were dancing, I looked up at him and I told him, “I still love you”! OMG—it wasn’t planned, it just felt so natural to tell him. It popped out of my mouth without even a thought of where I was or why, or who was around us. Seriously, talk about bad timing. I found out many, many years later that that was one of the worst nights of his life as he felt he had lost me forever. Ironically, he never totally lost me … I carried him in my heart always!!
Separately, our lives moved forward. He married as well, had 2 children and eventually made his home in Arkansas. After a few years living in the twin cities, my family (2 children as well) made the move back to my hometown of Rochester. I was devoted to my family, love my kids dearly, and we had a good life, but I still always felt that a piece was missing … and all too often, my thoughts would drift to “him”.
My 25 year marriage ended in the spring of 2011. Yes, for 25 years I was devoted and loyal to the man I married and even though he was a good person, we simply grew apart. In the few years prior to asking for the divorce, I discovered I had lost myself along the way —on the outside I appeared happy, on the inside, I was lonely and sad. I remember thinking, “is this all I will ever have, all I will ever feel?” , and I convinced myself that it was good enough … until I had an “ah-ha” moment and started believing in myself again, and believing that I deserved the very best of everything.
And then, after rediscovering myself again, finding my inner happiness and not just “going along for the ride” … something amazingly wonderful happened! My first love, the man that held my heart, the man I could never forget, came back into my life — thru Facebook! Ahhh, the wonders of technology. I received a “friend request” from a flash from the past … and after pondering on it for a day or so, I accepted. Why my hesitation? … I knew what I still felt for this man, knew that if I had the opportunity to ever have him in my life again, I would take it, and only hoped he still felt the same way about me! Did he? ….. You bet ‘cha he did!
We finally got our “timing” just right!!! In December of 2011— I married my friend, my partner, my lover (finally), my soul mate! Our paths did cross again, and this time, they are heading in the same direction—hand in hand, side by side! Time does not exist with soul mates … and after 30 years, we are making a life together!! Whoo hoo!!
